The crashing and burning of my world flew by with out much pomp and circumstance, I sank deeper and deeper into the depths of what could only be described as hell on earth. The pain and torture of a soul about to break. I can only see in condemning my self to this inevitable fate. Nothing seems to be going the right way, it seems that nothing could possibly get better. That my world has stopped revolving and now time stands still in this one spot. Only the ache in my heart to convince me that I am still connected to this orbiting rock rotating around the sun.
My feelings have been stolen, not by anyone but myself, locked away as I had promised a friend to keep them. My emotions torn so that I don't feel the hatred in my heart, after what was done causing this to hurt so bad. My thoughts are in an erratic disarray going from one extreme to the next. I can no longer feel the excruciating pain of the knife stabbed ruthlessly through my heart as it dulled to only a searing pain. If not for it today I might have had hope of repair, only another knife was ruthlessly plunged into my heart. Now it stands twisted and mutilated beyond repair. I thought I was used to this... of people walking away. I thought no one could get under the careful guard I set in place, but one did.
I will let no one hurt me again, because I can not stand this hurt. which is causing me to cry out in physical pain as I fall to my knees, holding tight to my last bit of sanity, clasping my arms around my torso where the gaping hole now stands. My body bent over as it is wracked by uncontrolable sobs as my sorrow knows no end. My one piller gone as he told me I was no longer worth praying for. My only thought at that time was I hope that I grow sick fast and my time expire quickly, for without him my last hope was lost.
I know not how I will survive through this.
Again I will relearn that memories are the best souvenirs.
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